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Guiness



Joined: 03 Nov 2009
Posts: 887


Location: County of Kent

PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 6:52 pm    Post subject:  Reply with quote

SlowRower wrote:
Guiness wrote:
PS: I have sympathy for you dealing with lawyers of state-owned banks!


Thanks. Smile Just in case you are one, then I should observe that individually, all such people are perfectly fine and pleasant members of society. They merely appear to turn into miserable, unreasonable g*ts when executing the Queen's business.


Nope. Not one of those. I'm an accountant. Retraining to be a teacher (!).
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Bartali



Joined: 06 Oct 2006
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Location: Bartalishire

PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blimey .... another one!
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Guiness



Joined: 03 Nov 2009
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Location: County of Kent

PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bartali wrote:
Blimey .... another one!


Unfortunately so. Fiance is the lawyer - but a tax one. Not one of those "perfectly fine and pleasant" lawyers of state-owned banks. Wink
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 4990


Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The mind boggles as to what an accountant and a lawyer talk about when together off duty!

Reminds me of the joke about the actuary, the accountant and the lawyer, but that can wait for another day...
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Slapshot 3
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Joined: 06 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All these flipping accountants.....no more scientists around....
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Guiness



Joined: 03 Nov 2009
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Location: County of Kent

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SlowRower wrote:
The mind boggles as to what an accountant and a lawyer talk about when together off duty!


Cycling Very Happy
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
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Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guiness wrote:
SlowRower wrote:
The mind boggles as to what an accountant and a lawyer talk about when together off duty!


Cycling Very Happy


Presumably with an emphasis on the cost of bikes and the rights/responsibilities of riders. Smile
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Guiness



Joined: 03 Nov 2009
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Location: County of Kent

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing  Laughing  Laughing

She can state to me the new "penalty" that went into effect recently for me wanting the Pinarello Dogma (with all the trimming) and any violations if I even attempt to buy it that could cause me to be audited by the HMRC (AKA fiancé) whereas I would go over the financial aspects of preparing my taxes/monthly outgoings to show that I can acquire this said beautiful bike. Discussing things such as that I qualify for certain tax relief (AKA putting up with her recent new EXPENSIVE handbag purchase) and that I have made no errors on the returns (AKA I am marrying her after all!).

Wink
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
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Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Following that, it has to be time for the actuary, accountant and lawyer joke...

An actuary, accountant and lawyer are down the pub discussing the benefits of a wife vs a mistress.

The accountant says a wife is better as there are tax benefits. (It's an old joke, originating from the days when the married couples' allwance existed.)

The lawyer says that a mistress is better, as a wife acquires rights to your assets and might leave you living in a cardboard box if she divorces you with the help of a slick lawyer.

The actuary says that it is best to have both, somewhat to the surprise of the others, given the actuarial profession's well-deserved reputation for being dull. When asked why, he responded that if you have both, you can tell the wife you're with the mistress and the mistress you're with the wife, leaving more time to stay in the office.

It's the way I tell 'em. Smile
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Bartali



Joined: 06 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get your coat SR .....
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Guiness



Joined: 03 Nov 2009
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Location: County of Kent

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SlowRower wrote:

It's the way I tell 'em. Smile


It's that or maybe they are just bad jokes... Wink

Got any of a dietician (retrained as a tax lawyer) and an accountant (retraining as a teacher)? Yup that's how it goes for Mr and Ms G! Unconventional career paths me thinks...
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
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Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guiness wrote:
SlowRower wrote:

It's the way I tell 'em. Smile


It's that or maybe they are just bad jokes... Wink


Consider yourself struck off my Christmas Card list.

You too, Bart.

I'm deeply traumatised by this whole exchange. Smile
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berck
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Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 3767


Location: SF Bay Area

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SlowRower wrote:
Guiness wrote:
SlowRower wrote:

It's the way I tell 'em. Smile


It's that or maybe they are just bad jokes... Wink


Consider yourself struck off my Christmas Card list.

You too, Bart.

I'm deeply traumatised by this whole exchange. Smile


We are too after reading that joke Wink
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 4990


Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

berck wrote:
SlowRower wrote:
Guiness wrote:
SlowRower wrote:

It's the way I tell 'em. Smile


It's that or maybe they are just bad jokes... Wink


Consider yourself struck off my Christmas Card list.

You too, Bart.

I'm deeply traumatised by this whole exchange. Smile


We are too after reading that joke Wink


B*gger. That's one of my best ever jokes as well. Sad
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Slapshot 3
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Joined: 06 Oct 2006
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Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SlowRower wrote:
berck wrote:
SlowRower wrote:
Guiness wrote:
SlowRower wrote:

It's the way I tell 'em. Smile


It's that or maybe they are just bad jokes... Wink


Consider yourself struck off my Christmas Card list.

You too, Bart.

I'm deeply traumatised by this whole exchange. Smile


We are too after reading that joke Wink


B*gger. That's one of my best ever jokes as well. Sad


I might be forced to delete that from the Jokes thread it's so bad!
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
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Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Significant day today - not only the coldest ever recorded in Yorkshire, but the day I handed over my credit card details to the Frenchies. I'm not backing out now. Us Yorkies know all about value for money. Smile
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Guiness



Joined: 03 Nov 2009
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Location: County of Kent

PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SlowRower wrote:
Significant day today - not only the coldest ever recorded in Yorkshire, but the day I handed over my credit card details to the Frenchies. I'm not backing out now. Us Yorkies know all about value for money. Smile


Good luck. Yorkies might know the value of money, but this Irish/Italian lad here has some sense by not entering! What on earth possessed you??!! Rivalry with Bartali?  Wink  Like I said - good luck, mate.
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
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Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guiness wrote:
What on earth possessed you??


Alcohol, if truth be told!

Seriously, I've been active sport-wise all my adult life, primarily rowing (first on the water, then indoors on machines) with a bit of cycling, swimming and running thrown in every so often as well (occasionally all together as a triathlon!)

I'm mildly addicted to exercise, and eat like a Great White shark, so I need to do a lot of exercise of some sort or another to avoid going insane and getting fat. Mrs SR says that I'm OK as eccentric and thin, but doesn't want me going barking mad and wasting money on a new, larger wardrobe,

My main focus was rowing until mid 2008 when I b*ggered my back once too often and reluctantly decided to hang up my lycra. Shortly after this, I bumped into an old friend on holiday, who had got into cycling, and we got beered up, started talking b*llocks, including how quickly we might cycle up Alpe D'Huez. The Marmotte was the natural end result of this sort of discussion.

He was muttering about the Raid Pyrenean and Iron Man Triathlons when I last spoke to him, so the Marmotte could be just a stepping stone to something really insane. Smile

Bart has encouraged me to do the Marmotte for some months and offered much useful advice, but we don't have a rivalry as we've never met in wheel to wheel combat to judge whether we're closely enough matched to bother with such macho posturing. Although I'll happily settle for getting round without my back seizing up, I won't pass on the opportunity to show him that 10kg of Boardman aluminium (my trusty steed) is better than half that of Italian carbon, should such an opportunity arise. Smile

Thanks for the good wishes - I'm sure I'll need tham and an awful lot more to get round!
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Bartali



Joined: 06 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guiness wrote:
Rivalry with Bartali?
 SR is younger, slimmer and fitter ... all I have is a lighter steed.

No rivalry on my part!
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SlowRower



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
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Location: 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan

PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bartali wrote:
Guiness wrote:
Rivalry with Bartali?
 SR is younger, slimmer and fitter ... all I have is a lighter steed.

No rivalry on my part!


But you are far better looking than me, a situation that can only be exacerbated by me spending several hours in the saddle.  Sad


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