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Drongo
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 505
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 Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 1:32 am Post subject: |
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In the sock drawer, but don't tell anyone; they never look there.
**
Runitout, as requested...
Links:
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
I think I prefer this one, which is still startling, but sometimes endearing:
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/
eg:
| Quote: | (cop has police tape pulled across intersection to prevent pedestrians from walking while traffic is moving)
Ten-year-old kid, wearing gray sweatshirt and blue baseball cap: Why are you doing that?
Cop: We got a call about someone wearing a gray sweatshirt and blue baseball cap prowling the streets, so this is to keep you safe. Do you feel safe, kid?
Kid, looking terrified: Yeah?
--5th Ave & 47th S |
or
| Quote: | Girl on train: Excuse me, don't touch my bag.
Young thug: I am just tryin to close your zipper.
Girl: Yeah, and then you take my wallet!
Thug: Why you think I am gonna take yo wallet? Because I'm black?
Girl: No, because I heard you tell your friend "I'imma steal this bitch's wallet."
Thug: Oh.
--A Train |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Slapshot 3 wrote: | | My god...where have you lot been hiding.... |
Let's see...
at work, at baseball tournaments, mountain biking, painting 
I also had my computer crash and I decided it was sign from God to set myself free from the internet for a while. lol |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Drongo wrote: |
Girl on train: Excuse me, don't touch my bag.
Young thug: I am just tryin to close your zipper.
Girl: Yeah, and then you take my wallet!
Thug: Why you think I am gonna take yo wallet? Because I'm black?
Girl: No, because I heard you tell your friend "I'imma steal this bitch's wallet."
Thug: Oh.
--A Train |
Hilarious.  |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Hey my ads down below say I can meet "Rich, Wealthy People." As opposed to just plain wealthy people. I'll never settle for one of those plain wealthy people again! |
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jdog
Joined: 12 Sep 2008
Posts: 483
Location: In the gutter
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| Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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Be careful. I only deal with rich, wealthy people" that have a great deal of money.
I tried hanging with "rich, wealthy people" that had no money and I was very disappointed. |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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| jdog wrote: | Be careful. I only deal with rich, wealthy people" that have a great deal of money.
I tried hanging with "rich, wealthy people" that had no money and I was very disappointed. |
Great tip! These days there are probably a lot of rich, wealthy people with no money.
It's also important to make sure all the money doesn't belong to their spouse.  |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, now my ads aren't offering me rich, wealthy people anymore. I've offended the gods. Now I have ads for yogurt coupons. Back to bloody reality. 
_________________
Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. |
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Drongo
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 505
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| Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:29 am Post subject: |
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I keep getting ads of the get rich quick(ly) variety.
So, once I answer those ads, I'll be able to meet the queue of people answering the ads that you used to get, before you offended the gods.
The logic is impeccable!
In other news, my head hurts. |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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There never seem to be any ads for getting rich slowly. But I see your point, that would stop all those internet strangers from getting to know you. Meanwhile, it's half-price yogurt for the proles.
I'm guessing your head hurting was self-inflicted?
_________________
Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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By the way, I hate you now Drongo, I'm addicted to overheardinnewyork now. It even has a way to automatically link it to facebook. kewl.
The only problem is I want to link every other quote.
_________________
Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. |
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Drongo
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 505
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| Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:04 am Post subject: |
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I would apologise, but your hatred is punishment enough without the need for me to be contrite as well. 
Here's another one from that place:
| Quote: | Girl #1: I have a dirty, pathetic crush on Octavian. But really only when he's Octavian. Caesar Augustus, not as much.
Girl #2: I can definitely see that. He was pretty cute. And he was the emperor.
Girl #1: If I'd been around, I would have knifed that Livia bitch and totally tapped that ass. (pause) That imperial ass.
--Columbia University |
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019317.html |
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TDL
Joined: 25 Sep 2008
Posts: 390
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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Drongo
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 505
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:04 am Post subject: |
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Okay, that's odd.
Shameless, certainly, but odd.
Speaking of which, Prince Philip. Quotes from him, a collection.
eg
| Quote: | On age
We shall all be old one day - provided, of course, we can avoid being slaughtered on the roads or beaten up by some hooligan in a peace demonstration (1970)
To a blind woman with a guide dog
Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now? (2002)
To his wife after her coronation
Where did you get that hat? (1953)
Meeting Nigeria's president, who was in robes
You look like you are ready for bed (1956)
To president Kenyatta during Kenya's independence, as the Union Jack was lowered
Are you sure you want to go ahead with this, old chap? (1963)
On death
In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, to contribute something to solving overpopulation (1988)
To the General Dental Council
Dentopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it. I have been practising it for years (1960) |
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeand...09/jun/21/quotes-by-prince-philip |
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Drongo
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 505
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Drongo
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 505
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| Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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3 in a row from them, then:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2...labies-high-tasmania-poppy-fields
| Quote: | Wallabies eating in Tasmania's legally grown opium poppy fields are getting "high as a kite" and hopping around in circles, trampling the crops, a state official said.
...
"We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," the Mercury newspaper quoted Giddings as telling the hearing. "Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high." |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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Overheard in the Office
3PM Every Office Employs Someone Who Neither Reads Nor Watches TV
Oblivious coworker: Yeah, those Australians are always doing that crazy stuff.
Coworker: They wrestle kangaroos, too.
Oblivious coworker: Wait! Are kangaroos real?
Chicago, Illinois
http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/
_________________
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Drongo
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 505
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| Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:36 am Post subject: |
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Nice.
It's accepted wisdom in Australia that there are Americans who think that we ride kangaroos to work each day.
In some ways I think it's more sensible to think that such an absurd creature does not exist. British scientists long suspected that the platypus was a fraud concocted by clever taxidermists; it was such a bizarre specimen. A kangaroo is not that far behind.
By the way, if you ever want to see a wild kangaroo in Australia (ie not in a zoo), the surest way is go to a golf course in the country somewhere. All that grass; they love the places. Sometimes you have to hit a lofted shot so as not to hit the damn things.
I've never wrestled one, but I have been charged repeatedly by a big male grey that didn't like me for some reason. It was in a wooded area, so I took the macho option of ducking behind a tree every time he came at me, and then running in the other direction behind another tree. After a while I got away, much in the manner of Brave Sir Robin.
Oh, and from the same page as your quote, I see this:
| Quote: | Office girl #1: If you're 20, are you still in your teens?
Office girl #2: Yes, I think it goes up to 21.
London
England |
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:29 am Post subject: |
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Well...stories like that about kangaroos remind me of the Looney Tunes cartoon when Sylvester thought he was being attacked by a giant mouse. lol
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Natasha
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
Posts: 1716
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:30 am Post subject: |
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So...cyclingforums is "temporarily closed" these days. Three days before the Tour de France. What a screwy website.
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