Best Doping Excuses of All Time

Slapshot · Best Doping Excuses of All Time

Dieter Baumann: In 1999, high levels of the anabolic steroid nandrolone were found in Bauman's system. The 1992 Olympic gold medallist in the 5,000 meters was indignant -- until, that is, he discovered that a tube of toothpaste he used contained the active ingredient norandrostendione. Clearly someone had doped his toothpaste! Baumann went to the authorities, but a perpetrator was never found. The German track and field association allowed him to compete again, but the international association banned him for life.

Jan Ullrich: In 2002, the 1997 Tour de France winner from Germany tested positive for amphetamines. Ullrich blamed it on two pills that he had received -- and knocked back -- the night before in a disco. He was tested the very next day.

Lance Armstrong: Armstrong, who won the Tour de France seven consecutive times from 1999 to 2005, has long been accused of doping. In 1999, traces of the steroid cortisone were found in Armstrong's blood. Armstrong said it was because of a lotion he had rubbed onto his backside.

Christian Henn: A German cyclist, Henn was found with higher than normal testosterone levels in 1999. He blamed a herb mixture given to him by a parent-in-law. The mixture was supposed to increase his fertility. He had a child soon afterwards, but ended his professional racing career.

Dario Frigo: Frigo, who came in second in the 2001 Giro d'Italia, was nailed by a police raid. When questioned by the police, he said he always carries forbidden substances with him. But, he said, "I've never used any." Carrying illegal drugs was just one of his "weaknesses." He also had some HemAssist -- a synthetic blood supplement -- with him during the raid. Frigo's comment: "I can't say which substances were in my bag."

Tyler Hamilton: American cyclist Hamilton gets the award for being involved in one of the most original explanations of all time. After testing positive for doping at Vuelta in September 2004, Hamilton said -- despite strong indications to the contrary -- there was no way he had received a blood transfusion. Rather, it was thought that he might be a Chimera -- an organism with two or more populations of genetically distinct cells. The foreign cells in his body, according to this explanation, were produced by a twin brother who died before birth.

Raimondas Rumsas: A year before Rumsas was caught doping, his wife was caught with a car full of banned substances. The drugs, she said, were for her sick mother. When he tested positive the next year, Rumsas accused his team Lampre of doping him.

Frank Vandenbrouke: A cyclist from Belgium, Vandenbrouke was found with the banned substance Clenbuterol -- normally used for asthma. He said it was for his dog.

Gilberto Simoni: A two-time winner of the Giro d'Italia, Simoni was found with traces of cocaine in his blood. He blamed a tea prepared for him by his aunt.

Lenny Paul: It's not just the cyclists. Bobsledder Paul gets an honorable mention for this excuse: When found with a higher than normal nandrolone content, he blamed the beef in his spaghetti sauce for testing positive. The cows, he said, had been on steroids.

Floyd Landis: Last but not least, Landis has come up with an original way of explaining away his failed testosterone test. After a miserable race in the 16th stage of this year's tour, Landis drowned his sorrows with "two beers and at least four whiskeys." The next day, he cycled the stage of his life.

From the Spiegel Newspaper

Lucy_Aspenwind

Que bien Berg Smile

Let's not close the books on Landis yet. I mean excuses are being made even as we speak!

naspa

Zach Lund who claimed his positive test was due to a baldness treatment he was using.

Snowboarder Ross Rebagliati blamed a positive marijuana test on second-hand smoke.

Dennis Mitchell - "I drank beer and had sex six time with my wife. It was her birthday and she deserved a treat. "[Insert Tiggertoo joke here]

70kmph

Marco Pantani (Elefantino) Old Big-ears the pirate was expelled from the 1999 Giro d'Italia because of an excessive hematocrit level. A victim of the judicial system that continued to pursue him

70kmph

Roberto Heras: Disqualified after a urine sample during the 2005 Vuelta tested positive for the banned drug EPO. Alleges inaccuracies in the testing process and mishandling of his samples.

caligirl147

Bill Clinton: "I didn't inhale." He actually was a great cyclist, back in the day. Well, he sat on the bike, anyway--he just didn't pedal. Wink

tommie81

caligirl147

Sooty

I thought Simoni's excuse took the biscuit - but as I remember it, tea wasn't the culprit - it was cough sweets his Aunt had sent him.

And Landis with his beers and whiskies! I mean these Tour riders, they're always knocking back scotches after a hard day in the saddle - not.

caligirl147

Sooty

Ha ha! Well, it made me laugh anyhow!

bbnaz

Greg Lemond: If I hadn't been shot, I would have won 6, maybe 7 tours but then they all started doping too Rolling Eyes

CapeRoadie

Justin Gatlin: "A masseuse with a grudge rubbed testosterone cream into my legs".

Ben Johnson: "My ginseng energy drink was spiked".

Nolte

Stefan Schumacher: my mommy said it was ok

CycleNUTZ

How about this one......I don't think it's been used so if there are any pro cyclists on the board this one is one me!

"I thought I was shooting heroin!"

tommie81

CycleNUTZ

tommie81

Agent Futura

Come on Tommie81, You missed the joke and I'm not talking about Jans!...."I thought I was taking a Placebo!"

That is funny!! I'm still laughing and I didn't even come up with it!

"LOL!" ....that got really annoying back in the states but I'm starting to miss it over here......what? you mates just like to "Smirk".....how about I invent a new one? SIS...."Smirking In Silence" Rolling Eyes

caligirl147

How about HALABM
Having a laugh all by myself...
NO! Much too sad!!
I just type hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha and laugh myself into a near post-ictal state!

Nolte

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news.p...=news/2005/apr05/apr01newsspecial

reminded of this with this thread

Jorge

Somehow you all forgot about Millar: "I only did it twice and saved the syringes as momentos". "The ampules are from when I did it back in 2001 and 2003".